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Yesterday Fräulein was glued to my lap.
She doesn't usually use pacifier when she is awake, but being ill is an exception.
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As Fräulein is not totally well yet, this is not a matter of today, but something that I have been thinking for a while. I gave you earlier a peek into our bedroom, so you know that Fräulein is currently sleeping in the same room as Herr Welle and me. As she is quite light sleeper, her sleep seems to be disturbed when we go to bed a couple of hours after her and again when Herr Welle leaves to work in the morning.
This is why we have thought that we could change our guest room into nursery. I believe that all three of us would sleep better, if Fräulein had a room of her own.
The problem is her pacifier. She still uses one while sleeping and the most common reason for her to wake up during the night and start crying, is that she has lost her pacifier. Now that she is sleeping very close to us, it is easy for me to reach for the pacifier and place it back into her mouth - this happens about once or twice every night. But it would be very disturbing for my sleep, if I had to get up and walk into another room to do this. Not to mention, that - as it would take more time - Fräulein would probably get more upset and more awake, and it would require more than the pacifier to calm her down again.
So, I have been thinking that maybe we should get her to abandon the pacifier before making the changes in the sleeping arrangements. I have heard that many children have started to sleep all through the night after they have stopped using a pacifier.
On the other hand, it is so easy to calm her and get her to fall asleep with the pacifier that I would like to keep this option for a while.
So, my question is:
What do you think we should do first: move Fräulein's bed or get rid of the pacifiers?
I would really appreciate, if you could share your recommendations about how to go forward!
And please tell me any tips you might have for how to get a child to fall asleep without a pacifier, when she has used one all her life.
Or do you have any experiences about moving child to sleep in his/her own room?
Kerrothan kokemuksesi vaikka suomeksi! Ich freue auch Antworten auf Deutsch! Jag förstår också svenska!
6 comments:
Oops! I was thinking of leaving a comment, but I didn't because I don't think my two are exactly models of perfection to follow.
We tried to put Orla into her own room relatively early on: she hated her Moses basket, and we tried everything with it, and nothing worked. We then had the cot at the bottom of the bed and she hated that too, and eventually we surrendered to having her in the bed all the time with us. Then I got pregnant with Hamish when she was 6 months and I had worries that we needed to resolve the situation before he arrived on the scene. So we tried her in her own room (right next to ours) and it worked on and off. I was used to disrupted nights anyway. Then we moved house and as my due date was getting closer, and as I knew I was having a caesarian, I converted her cotbed into a little bed before she was 15 months. So we went all the way from our bed to her own little bed involving 2 houses in a relatively short time. That worked out ok for us. Pacifier is a whole different story. I have tried at different points in time to remove them from their lives, and it's been horrific. We are now in a situation where they no longer have them during the day but at bed time they want them. Orla is now at the point where she is almost giving it up (well she is going to be 5!!!!!!!!!) Hamish is less keen.
I can't even bear to tell you that Hamish likes sleeping in beside me & he is 3 years old. He also though sleeps in our guest room as he likes a double bed better than a cotbed, so that at least is something.
My advice, is do everything I didn't do regarding the pacifiers. Just do it now and get it over and done with. It will be far easier! Personally I would move her into her own room first though, get her settled and then tackle the pacifier.
Thanks fiona for your comment! I'm actually relieved to hear that I'm not the only one struggling with these sleeping arrangements... And I guess kids won't use their pacifiers when they go to their first sleepover at friend's house ;)
Since her last illness (well, her nose is still running a bit), Fräulein has been quite keen to using her pacifier also on day time. So maybe I should wait for a while before making any drastic changes.
We also may not be the family to follow on this one!
We have a fairly relaxed approach to sleeping, and our 6 year old still regularly sleeps in the 'big bed' with us.
Her little sister (age 4) only joins us if she is sick or scared (about once a month I guess).
As for pacifiers, both my girls used them, and at one point I was convinced that Sofie was going to have one on her wedding night. Seriously - she loved that thing.
But at age 4 she got into fairies, and by chance a fairy left her a note and some magic glitter, and said if she left her pacifiers out and sprinkled them with the magic glitter than the fairy would collect them and leave her a surprise.
It worked like a charm. And she happily left out her pacifiers for the fairies. Her sister followed suit less than a year later.
So basically we let the girls choose when they were ready. They still sleep with us when they need to, and they gave up their pacifiers when they were ready.
It is tough in the short term, but they won't always want to share your room or have a pacifier.
Thanks Fiona (with big F) for your comment!
The fairy story was great! But I guess the child needs to be a bit older than Fräulein to understand something like that. It is also nice to hear about these 'not so perfect' stories. Although I don't see anything wrong with the way you have handled things. I wouldn't mind Fräulein coming to our bed from time to time.
Yes, it will probably be hard in the short term, both with the room and the pacifier, so it is very easy to postpone these changes.
I'll keep you posted about the progress (or the lack of it....) :)
Hei, mä kirjoitan suomeksi näin aamutuimaan:)
Nämä on aina tilanteita ja hetkiä, joita joutunee miettimään. Meillä Emmalla on edelleen tutti nukkuessaan. Nyt parin viikon aikana hän ei ole saanut tuttia enää päiväsaikaan. Aluksi oli aikamoista huutoa, mutta ne on nyt jääneet ja ei pyytele tuttia. Me koitettiin vierottaa tutista viime vuonna ennen tänne muuttoa, mutta kun muutto tuli, niin Emman tuttikin tui takaisin, jotenkin se tilanne vaan "vaati" sen.
Emma siirtyi nukkumaan omaan huoneeseen, kun muutimme tänne. Aluksi oli ihmeissään ja luuli, että minä nukun hänen huoneessaan maton päällä. Siirto meni kuitenkin hyvin. Emma oli tuolloin kuukautta vajaa 2 vuotta.
Oli ne yöt meilläkin sitä ainaista tutin suuhun laittoa, kun pieni ei sitä itse tehnyt, mutta sitten viljelin useita tutteja sängyn reunoille ja ei mennyt kauaa kunnes Emma löysi öisin tutin omaan suuhunsa:)
En oikein osaa auttaa tässä asiassa, mutta näin meillä mentiin ja nyt pitäisi ottaa se askel, että unilla ei tarvita tuttia. APUA.
Nämä on niin yksilöllisiä asioita ja lapsi tarvitsee mielestäni sen herkkyysvaiheen moniin asioihin. Onhan se tutti sellainen turva monissa asioissa ja ei sen suhteen kannata olla niin huolissaan. Onneksi täällä saksassa sen suhteen ei olla niin hurjia kuin suomessa, en tiedä uskaltaisinko sanoa suomessa neuvolassa, että Emmalla on vielä öisin tutti;)
Voihan se olla, että omaan huoneeseen nukkumaan meno voikin olla sellainen rauhoittava tekijä, kun ei ole niin lähellä siinä vanhempia. Tai sitten ei. Odottakaa rauhassa, älkää kiirehtikö, onhan teidän tyttönen kuitenkin vielä niin pieni.
Jaksuja ja voimia sinne pienen kanssa.
...ja sori sekavasta tekstistä:)
Kiitos "anonyymi" naapuri viestistäsi! Ja pahoittelut omasta sekoilustani - onnistuin poistamaan viestin, laittamaan sen uudelleen väärään postaukseen ja nyt siis vihdoin tänne. Äh!
Tuo tuttien viljely kuullostaakin kätevältä ratkaisulta! Meilläkin tyttö laittaa itse tutin suuhunsa, jos löytää sen helposti. Usein se vaan saattaa olla niinkin kaukana kuin pään toisella puolella ja sitten kaivataan äitiä etsimään tutti takaisin suuhun. Mutta taidanpa poiketa dm:ssä ostamassa muutaman paketin lisää tutteja! :)
Tuo on muuten jännä juttu, että Suomessa "tutti-ikärajat" ovat niin tiukat, mutta täällä tuntuu kaupungilla tulevan vastaan tosi isoja lapsia tutti suussa.
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