Monday, April 23, 2012

Mixed Feelings

A couple of months ago, there was a big debate in the Finnish media about children's daycare. Apparently, there were parents who took their kids to daycare even when they were on vacation themselves.

I can totally understand the anger this has raised. Why to have children, if you don't like spending time with them?

But now I have started to think, if I am going to do something similar.

I have found a wonderful Tagesmutter (childminder) for Fräulein. We are planning to take Fräulein to this Tagesmutter two mornings and one afternoon per week, ten to fifteen hours per week in total.

The main reason for this is that, we would like Fräulein to learn German, and the younger she starts the easier it should be. I would also like her to learn how to interact with other kids.

Fräulein playing with a friend after the Finnish music group last autumn.

But I must admit, I have also more selfish reasons. Herr Welle works long hours and travels a lot. On weekdays, I cannot really count on him taking care of Fräulein, so that I could have some time for myself. I would really appreciate a few hours to run any errands, have appointments, or just simply enjoy a cup of coffee in peace.

So, am I actually as bad as the parents, who take their kids to daycare on holidays?

I have tried to reason this and have come to the conclusion that I'm not. But even when I feel relieved and happy about this new arrangement, I cannot help feeling a bit ashamed in taking my daughter to daycare, although my "job" is to be a Hausfrau...

We just had the first 'orientation day' today. I'll keep you posted.

Joku aika sitten Suomessa kohuttiin perheistä, jotka vievät lapsensa päiväkotiin oman lomasa aikana. Mielestäni se on väärin, mutta nyt minua on alkanut mietityttämään, olenko tekemässä jotain samanlaista. 
Olen nimittäin löytänyt tytölle Tagesmutterin (perhepäivähoitajan), jonka luo Fräuleinin on tarkoitus mennä muutamaksi tunniksi kolmena päivänä viikossa. Tärkeimpiä syitä ovat, että tyttö oppisi saksaa ja kommunikoimaan toisten lasten kanssa. Mutta voin kyllä tunnustaa, että yhtenä etuna on, että näin saan itse arkisin vähän "vapaa-aikaa".
Tänään oli ensimmäinen "sopeutumispäivä". Palaan aiheeseen myöhemmin.


manycoloured-days said...

If she's happy and she likes it, it will do both of you good. If she's miserable you'll notice it soon enough and I'm sure you won't leave her in an unhappy situation. All kids are very different and you won't know what she's like or if she's ready to venture out socially by herself unless you try. We all need some me time, don't feel guilty about that part - and it would be a waste not to expose her to German while you're in Germany.

Wiffy said...

I think it's a good idea! She is only going a few hours a week. You will still be taking care of her the majority of the time :) Plus she can learn new things and play with other children so she'll have lots of fun experiences while you get a much needed break.

fiona said...

I think it is really good for kids to mix with other kids independently of their parents, and I do't think you should feel guilty at all. Everyone has different views on this subject, and it all depends on individual circumstances. But I think there is a difference between sending your child to nursery while you are on holiday and sending them for a few hours a week which they might enjoy and benefit from. And that's not to say that the children of the parents who are on holiday aren't desperate to be there to play with their friends! (Not that my two were ever like that!)

Frau Welle said...

Thank you all for your very supportive comments! :)
I guess that it is easy for other expats to see the benefits like I do!

Sarsm said...

Hallo Frau Welle!

I don't think that you can compare the two situations. It's important for you to have time and if you use that time to do things you need to do then ultimately you'll end up spending more quality time with your child.

Plus there's the language and mixing with other kids benefits!

I'm an expat too (Scotland to Germany) and it's important that you support yourself and your family in any way you can. :-)

Kelly Garcia said...

No need to feel guilty at all. Everyone needs their own time. Your daughter probably needs it just as much as you! We recently moved from Japan and pretty much everyone I knew there sent their kids to school at least a few days a week to have some time to run errands, get things done around the house, or just have a moment to breathe. I loved my son's school so much I cried when we left! He was surrounded by caring teachers and kids and immersed in a new culture. All of us learned from each other! Good luck and I hope you have a positive experience whatever you decide. :)